Wednesday, March 28, 2012

FAIRYTALE INTERRUPTED

About two months ago, I found out from a candidate that her aunt wrote a book. Now the aunt, happened to have been my former candidate and what makes her unique is that she was the former assistant to John F. Kennedy Jr. And thirteen years after his untimely death, she shares her story about her journey with him for the last five years of his life. I read it in two days which may not seem so fast, but with two kids and a business to run, I had a lot of "stomachaches" that kept me in the bathroom for hours during that time.
It was a wonderful story that made me laugh out loud and brought tears to my eyes. It was poignant; it was honest; it was inspiring; and sadly, it was tragic. It's a wonderful tribute to not only "the most famous man in the world," but to her boss.

I never had a thing for JFK Jr...not that I had something against him; but I never understood the allure. After reading her book, it all made sense. But what I really took away from the book was that as lucky as she was to land a job people would've killed for, he was even luckier to have found her. Her loyalty, compassion and true commitment to him were traits JFK Jr. searched for, but so rarely found. She was a true gatekeeper...assisting him with everything from who should be on the first cover of "George" to the intricate details of his wedding to Carolyn. She never let his status or fame allow her to stray from what was most important...being his right hand. She was his bad cop; his sounding board; his confidante and together they forged an unbelievable relationship that ended abruptly on July 16, 1999.

This story is true testament to the bond you can form with your boss. Being an assistant to someone can be one of the most rewarding jobs as you get to learn from someone at the top of their game, enjoy many of the same perks, all while remaining anonymous amongst the thousands that share your profession. I often complain about the crap that my candidates pull; or rant about the abuse some of them have taken (or some of my clients have given) but this blog is warm & fuzzy...and it's dedicated to someone who deserves all the success she's enjoying. An amazing story by an amazing woman...Fairytale Interrupted...a must read!

Good night and Happy Job Hunting,

The Job Yenta

Thursday, March 22, 2012

HOW DO YOU MAKE A TISSUE DANCE?

You blow a little boogie into it!!!

Yes, I have a 5 year old's sense of humor, but what do you expect? I have a 5 year old...I certainly can't bust out my "Truly Tasteless Joke" books from the 80's.

So why the sophomoric joke? Because it was exactly what I was thinking the other day as I sat across from a candidate with a booger in her nose. I mean it's one thing to politely offer someone a mint when they have bad breath...but how do you clandestinely tell a perfect stranger she needs to blow her nose??? "Your resume looks great, but I can't find you a job until you wipe that shit that's hanging form your left nostril!" I mean YUCK YUCK YUCK.

After she left my office, I started to write an imaginary list on all the things my candidates need to do BEFORE coming to meet me:

1. Blow your nose...PLEASE
2. Spit out your gum...you look like a horse
3. Check your teeth for food/lipstick...I already had lunch
4. Eat a mint if you've smoked...actually scratch that...DON'T smoke before coming to see me because I'm not going to place an ashtray with ANY of my clients no matter how FABULOUS you might be
5. Cover up any undergarments...I'm happily married
6. Finish eating your lunch/drinking your coffee...this isn't Starbucks
7. Silence your phone-Ed McMahon's not calling to tell you you won Publisher's Clearing House and Yolanda Vega doesn't announce the winning lottery numbers until 7:30pm
8. Put on a smile...if you're miserable, disgruntled or completely desperate, and it shows, chances are I'm going to have a hard time embracing your candidacy because my clients won't hire Oscar the Grouch (again, 5 year old reference).

These are pretty simple requests, almost obvious I would think...but the stories I could tell. I remember meeting with a woman many years ago with 30+ years of experience. She was lovely...reminded me of my grandma...especially since she had an entire tube of lipstick on her teeth. And as we sat and chatted, I quickly fell in love with her, so when she asked me why I thought she was having SUCH a hard time finding a job, I said, "Can I be honest???" To which she replied, "Yes, of course." "While this is not the SOLE reason, or even the main reason...but your lipstick not only looks like you put it on in the dark; its all over your teeth and the color is atrocious," I blurted out with a smile. Thankfully she started to laugh and thanked me profusely. I gave her a few more pointers and while I wasn't able to place her, I know she left my office better than when she came in (she told me so)!

Sometimes I'm afraid to be brutally honest as I never want to hurt anyone's feelings, but I can't get over how clueless some people can be. YOU ARE YOUR BOOK COVER...I can't say it enough times!!! How you dress for an interview with me, is a clear indication how you will present with the client. Would you go on a date with messy hair or food in your teeth? So why would you come to an interview like that...especially when our "date" has the potential for a better paycheck...

So take a minute to compose yourself before you walk through my door. I'm not looking for designer clothes, salon coiffed hair, or red soled shoes...just someone who takes pride in their presentation...a clear sign that shows you take your search seriously.  You only get one chance to make a first impression and remember employment, unlike love, is NOT blind.

Good Night and Happy Job Hunting,
The Job Yenta

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

YOU SNOOZE...YOU LOSE

So the other day a candidate was referred to me who had been out of work for two years. A high level executive, the poor guy was a victim of the financial crisis and hasn't been able to get his footing. Recently, he started working for a construction company performing carpentry as needed. I had a client who was looking for a mailroom assistant which was the perfect opportunity to get back into a corporate environment, while maintaining his "handyman" work on the side.

The client quickly picked up on his resume and asked if he could come in the very next day as they were anxious to fill their vacancy. I spoke to the candidate that night and he was ready and excited to nail the interview.

Fast forward twelve hours, and I get an email from the client..."XXXX never showed up..." WHAT???? Are you serious? HE MUST BE DEAD...because if he's not, I'm going to KILL him. SO I quickly call his cell and it goes straight to voicemail. AH...maybe he's stuck in the subway and can't connect to let me know he's going to be late. That HAS to be it. So I proceed to call his phone every 5 minutes, expecting a breathless man to pick up, apologizing for the horrendous transportation system...10 minutes go by; 15; 20...as this point I've emailed him and said, "You better be dead...otherwise, you really F'D up!!!" Finally at 10:30, he calls and tells me that he woke up, got dressed, sat down to relax because he was ready a bit early...and FELL ASLEEP IN HIS SUIT! What a SCHMUCK! Are you serious? Unless you are narcoleptic or drunk, no one falls asleep that quickly after waking up! and in your SUIT...who can sleep with a noose essentially tied around their neck? Normally, I wouldn't believe him, but for some reason I felt bad for this guy. I genuinely thought he made a mistake...unfortunately, my client was not so sympathetic and wouldn't see him.

It's a classic (not to mention literal) case of you snooze...you lose. This was his shot and he blew it. I told my husband (who the candidate was actually referred to) that I felt bad, and he was like, "Why? You didn't f@#$%k up...he did." It's true. Here was his chance to get back out there, which is so hard when you've been out of work for awhile, and he dropped the ball. I mean I'm up at 5am almost every day with my daughter and I manage to stay awake until at LEAST 9:30pm every night...

He must've called me 30 times before the client came back saying she wouldn't see him. He was devastated...but hopefully he'll learn from it...because that's really what you should do. Don't drown yourself in your own misery. Keep your head up and move on. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason and at the end of the day, I have NO REGRETS...except that one time in college...

Good night and happy job hunting,
The Job Yenta