THE WORKING YEARS

Ok...so as someone who's been recruiting for 10 years (g-d help me), I've finally decided to put all my thoughts, rants, raves and issues down on "paper" to share with the rest of the world. At this point, I've seen AND heard it all...at least when it comes to job hunting. And my colleagues and I have always said we should write a book...so maybe that's what this blog will turn into...my chance to write my memoir. Speaking of memoir...I had a candidate JUST the other day tell me that she was penning her memoir and that was why she had so many temp assignments on her resume...she's all of 30. I was thinking, "Honey, unless you're Drew Barrymore who went to rehab at 9, or Lindsay Lohan, who might not make it to 30, what could you possibly write in your memoir?" Needless to say, my client wasn't interested in meeting her so she could include them in chapter eight, "THE WORKING YEARS."


Seriously...what I think potential job hunters cease to realize is that I'm a RECRUITER...not a MAGICIAN. And I'm working for you for FREE...so you better bring SOMETHING to the table. A job a year since you graduated 5 years ago; temping for 5 years (unless you're an actor) without a permanent offer; no corporate experience and you want a salary of $50,000...you need Anne Sullivan...not me! Companies are paying me to find them someone specific. If you went to buy a Porsche and I tried to sell you a Honda, you'd laugh in my face and think I was either deaf or stupid. It works the same way with the clients I recruit for. They want what they want and they are not going to pay my fees unless I give it to them. It's nothing personal. It's just business. But here's what you can do to help the process (not to mention yourself)...


1. Check (and triple check) your resume for typos. You get ONE shot to make a first impression...so make sure it's a good one.


2. Dress professionally. Recruiters want to know that when you go on an interview, you are going to look professional. Showing up at my office in any or with any of the following is unacceptable:

• clothes that are too tight
• sweats
• chipped nail polish 
• dirty clothes 
• ripped, folded or wrinkled resumes
• friends/relatives/significant others/pets

3. Have realistic expectations. Telling me you are currently making $15/hr and then saying you won't leave for less than $55,000/year might sound like you're putting your foot down...but all it's going to get you is a firm handshake and a "don't call us, we'll call you." Know what someone with your experience is earning and remember that this is a COMPANY'S MARKET...meaning there are more people looking for jobs than there are people who are hiring. Be realistic, humble and flexible. Remember, it's in my best interest to get you the most money possible as that's what my fee is based on, but I'm the expert...I know what the client will and won't pay for what you are bringing to the table so WORK WITH ME!


4. Be gracious and responsive. If I ask you to make revisions on your resume and send it to me asap, don't expect me/or wait for me to follow up. Go home, make the changes and send it. Otherwise, why come to my office and waste both of our times. My job is to help you get this job. Not talk to hear myself think. So if I'm giving FREE advice, take it and run with it!


5. Stay in touch. I meet between 15-30 people a WEEK...that's over 100 people a month. At this point, I have trouble remembering what day it is, so if you want me to keep you at the FOREFRONT of my ever deteriorating mind, stay in touch. I ask all of my candidates to email me once a week to check in. You know how many do it...MAYBE 10%...If I ask, once again, DO IT! Opportunities arise EVERY day...and if you're the right person for  a job that comes in a month after I met you, chances are there are 100 other people I might consider...but if you email me that same day, you'll be the FIRST person I think of (if you fit the specs of course-see Porsche v. Honda).


6. Have a SENSE OF URGENCY. If I call/email/text you that I have an interview for you...respond AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. Companies want people that are interested and excited about the opportunities they have to offer. They don't want to wait DAYS to confirm interviews. If you come to see me and I tell you about an oppportunity on the spot, know that I'm working at warp speed to get that client to see you. If you hear from me, chances are they've bitten and want to bring you in...and isn't that the reason you came to see me in the first place...MY G-D...with modern technology, where the hell could you be that you can't reach out and let me know your availability. I'm not asking for blood people...just a few hours of your time to help YOU get a JOB!!!!


Ok, I'm starting to get excited and I need to go to sleep soon. So consider this my first Dear Abby meets MAD magazine entry. I'll share the craziest stories, congratulate the successes and of course offer as much advice and direction as I can so as to help those in the never ending search for their "dream job."


Good night and happy job hunting,
The Job Yenta