Friday, January 14, 2011


So I'm in the AT&T store today and as I'm waiting for my information to be transferred from my old phone to my new phone, another customer walks in. The guy behind the counter recognizes him, and tells him that the merchandise he ordered is not in yet but that he would call him when it came in. The customer said thank you and as he turned to walk out, the salesman said, "'re in the music business right?" And right away, I think...OY VEY...that's ballsy!!! So the customer says, with quite a long pause, "Yes..."
The salesman proceeds to tell him that he's about to release his first video and he's gone viral and has this that and the other and would he mind listening to some of his stuff? So the customer looks at him and asks what genre he's in...and the sales guy says RAP...which was the LAST area of music I would've guessed he performed. He then proceeds to play a piece of his was fine, but I don't think he's the next Eminem. So the customer is courteous, listens and right before he leaves gives the salesman his email address, both personal AND business. This was right after he told him that while he USED to do A&R for Columbia, he now produces and develops shows for MTV and he would do what he could.
I had to pick my jaw up off the floor. I would have NEVER asked a random person to listen to my music. Especially if it sounded like a mix between my rabbi and William Hung. But I guess that's why I'm blogging and recruiting and Justin Beiber is on the cover of Vanity Fair :(  But this guy probably thought, "what've I got to lose?"
It instantly made me think of all the candidates that come and see me who have been out of work for weeks, months, even years. They show up at my office, tell me their tale of woe and then if I don't respond to every email or send them out on an interview immediately, I'm an asshole and they write a bad review about me on Yelp. I once received an email from a candidate wishing that I, along with the rest of the employees I worked with, contracted herpes. And this was in response to a request to update her personal information for our database.
I’ve posted the contents below...VERBATIM...please take a moment to note her wonderful grammar and ability to spell...I definitely missed out on my commission with this one...(I saved it in a folder appropriately named, "Crazy Applicants"...I knew it would come in handy some day).
Oh. my. god.

i just want to say thanks.... for shit.  I *never* heard from you assholes ONCE!  I now am maoking about $80K per year and loving it.  Just so you idiots (and you and your staff are...) will know, some people go through hard times when they move to a new city, especially one like NYC.  They come to you because you (lie) say you can help them find a job. 

My co-workers and I laugh at you behind your back.  Others have even stared a hilarious website about your "company" and forwarded me it.  What a hoot!  God, you people are depressing, untalented and obviously could not find "real" jobs for yourselves.... you all work at "Jennifer" with your wanna-be hipster staff (what a bunch of poseurs!! uggghhhhhhh.)  -- by the way, what a shitty and cheap and ugly website. NO WONDER YOU HAVE NO CLIENTS!!


I was once working 3 jobs and sleeping about 5 hours a night to afford my rent here.  I came to you on a much needed day off to speak with you and show you my resume.  I graduated a top-tier Private University with a GREAT GPA.  I was in a Sorority, played a college-level sport and had WONDERFUL references.  WHICH YOU NEVER EVEN CONTACTED.  Now, 6 months and absolutely no contact later, you send me a MASS MAILING!! asking me for my resume info????  You are all such low-class bottom feeders.  Your office and entire staff reeks of implied (laughable) bourgeoisie.

I hope you all get herpes.  (oh shit... most of your staff probably already does!) yuck!  stay away from me.  please NEVER email me again with your spam, you self righteous losers.  Oh, and check your website background.  You can't even afford to fix it?  it looks like shit.  It doesn't replicate and you can see where it repeats itself.  a tip from me.  I cannot wait until you fix it -- I am *sure* you will.  Just like you will contact all your "clients" (your companies don't even take employees from you, do they??   poor babies!  no wonder!  you suck! -- every job interview I went on I was awarded the job at hand AND most of them were in the 65K - 70K field.  You talk a big game but don't deliver.  I think some of your clients should know that, too....  (and I am sure they already do.)

Most Sincerely,


the one you "said" you would keep in contact with but never even sent an update... the one with the great resume.  I don't even think you could review it with me in your office because over the phone you told me you had a hard copy but then accidentally "lost..  uhhhh i think? uhhh i think my email is broken --boy hits computer--- ummmmmm...  can you uhhhh  send it again later?? ummmmmm.  hmmmm?  sure i had it here a second ago?."  how utterly un-professional.  I sent you another and never heard back. I called and was told I would receive an update, but you never even contact references (a prominent NYC Cosmetic Dentist, a top-notch Pharmacist, a major of a city in NJ, and the dean of my University - besides the other great bosses and co-workers I worked along side with.  I have also have a tested Genius level IQ.)  You don;t do your job.  I GUESS YOU LOST MY COMMISSION!!  boo hoo!  what a reflection on you.

i have wasted enough of my time responding.  I am so glad I have so many friends and co-workers in this town.  I hope your numbers don;t drop.  hee hee hee.  (I think they will!) just a hint.......   GOOD LUCK!! 

Amazing right? With all those great references from cosmetic dentists and pharmacists, it's a wonder I couldn't find her a job! Especially since she has a GENIUS level IQ (in all areas except grammar and spelling) MY LOSS!

 I get this ALL THE TIME...not as harsh...or as eloquent...but people love to place blame. Especially desperate people. But what's so essential to remember, is you are your BEST sales tool. I'm just a pawn in your big game of chess. If people approached their job search with the same attitude as that guy at the AT&T store, they probably would spend less time looking for a job and more time working at one. Recruiters are just part of the process. And yes, I have placed hundreds of people at amazing companies, many of which I still keep in touch with to this day, but unfortunately the majority of people that walk through my door, I can't place. However, I tell all of my candidates the following:
  1. Be Prepared
  2. Be Presentable
  3. Be Positive
  4. Persistence BEATS resistance
And tell everyone you know, including that random guy/girl who walks into your store/restaurant or sits down next to you on the train, that you're looking for a job and could they help.
Good night and happy job hunting,
The Job Yenta

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