SUCKMYASS CAPITAL

We've all taken jobs that for one reason or another...SUCK. The workload was ridiculous. The people were atrocious. The boss was GODZILLA...or all of the above. You tried to persevere, but to no avail. At the end of the day, week, 3-month guarantee, you realize that you are the proud owner of a one way ticket to HELL (and your clothes are NOT flame-retardant). At this point, it's time to make a decision. Do you quit, give two weeks notice, organize your files and clean out your inbox of all "family and friends" emails and stupid jokes your dad sent you? Or do you throw out ALL important documents, infect your computer with a virus and walk out the door with your finger held high???

Obviously the former is the high road, but sometimes the latter feels SO much better. But at the end of the day, you just have to cut your losses and realize that while every pot has its lid, you're not interested in a some crappy job. This doesn't mean you're a failure or will never find another job again...it just means that you made the wrong decision. It happens. Get over it. No need to wallow...just move on to bigger and better. Go out there and when someone asks, "So why did you leave Suckmyass Capital?" You say, "It wasn't the right fit." This isn't the time to drag your bosses name through the mud, or tell the interviewer how your coworkers were getting high in the bathroom. Save that for your tell all. Instead, smile, sit up nice and straight and LIE. And when I say lie, it's only in this particular situation...when the job REALLY wasn't the right fit. Not because you were insubordinate; stole something; or failed the company's mandated drug test. But when the job and you just didn't get along and you mutually decided to shake hands and part ways, "It wasn't the right fit," is completely acceptable. No one wants to hear your tale of woe. We've all had at least one horrible job (if anyone says different they are either lying or sleeping with their boss) but no one wants to hire the person who bitches about it.

A very dear friend of mine was coming off what I would call my worst nightmare...a devastating tragedy. She was so distraught she walked away from her amazing career because the thought of dealing with the world was the last thing she wanted to do. After a few months of healing, she called me to see if I could help put her on a new path. I had placed her in her first job out of school and we had always stayed in touch and over the years had developed a wonderful friendship. So what did I do? I convinced this poor girl that recruiting was EXACTLY what she wanted to be doing. And stupid her...BELIEVED ME! So together we set out to make her recruiter extraordinaire! And in six short weeks she quickly became...unemployed. Hated every single minute of the 12,960 that she spent in my company's employ. And when she left, it was not under the best conditions. But you know what? During those 27 days of torture, she realized that being amongst the corporate bullshit was just where she needed to be. Amongst the pompous and the crazy and the weird guy at the front desk. So she went back into the wonderful world of trends and strategy and intellect, knee deep in corporate bullshit and ecstatic to be there. She picked herself up, brushed herself off, and kicked some corporate ass. Just like I always knew she could. So this blog is dedicated to her and all that I know she is...one of the smartest, strongest, most amazing women I have ever met. Here's to you NL...you're my hero!

Good night and happy job hunting,
The Job Yenta